it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
