i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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