I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize