When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
