dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize