Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
