u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your penis caused this!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
