It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
