Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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