when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
