We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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