my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
