I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
