So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
