There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
