Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
where am i from again
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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