I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
