We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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