is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
