just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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