I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
