Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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