why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
