My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize