What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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