He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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