We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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