her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
