yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
