I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
