at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
