Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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