I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
