gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
