no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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