I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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