capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
