I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
smell my finger.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
