My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize