How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Even my vagina gasped.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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