Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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