He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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