Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
