Your dad touched me again.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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