i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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