Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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