porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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