He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
