I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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