You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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