why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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