The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
