You smell like a Billy Joel song
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize