thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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