oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
