the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
