we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
