Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
