Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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