i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
