Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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