ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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