I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
