Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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