Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
