There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
