fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
