I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize