is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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