I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
