the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
