I accidentally burped into my bong.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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